BLUEAPPLE:Renovatio

Finally after 19 attempts and 19 full years of living and another couple of hours, I will have reached the number 2. Haha.. Hopefully you get my point! (if not I'm afraid,you are a lost cause sigh*)...

In plain English, I have finally reached the ripe age of 20 YEARS OLD..(thats like so freaking OLD sigh* again!) This year I find myself in (so called entertainment capital of Sarawak) MIRI! Thats a change, last year I celebrated my 19th birthday in Kuching although relocating from 1 place to another is not alien to me...

Okay so lets recap what I did the past year... Wasted, stoned, failed to succeed, lost faith in myself, wasted again, wallow in self-pity over the stupid decisions i made, got stoned again, wasted chances in life and love (thats right), wasted 2 years of my life (because of my stupid decision), sigh..I just dont want to remember them all.. I dont deny theres the good stuffs also but then it brings back memories that makes me condemn myself...I could have done so much but yet all I did was so little. How true is that phrase ' You'll reap what you sow"!..

Ah, the past year and all those years wont come back to me but then I know there's more to come. Hopefully this time I'll turn the tables as I turn over a new leaf. But sigh* a resolution is always just a resolution if no work is put into it, nothing ever comes in a complete piece. There'll always be the bits and pieces of the huge jigsaw that I gotta put together to achieve my PRIZE. No work equals to no success, but then thats the hardest part.

"The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary." "Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."..

Hopefully I have learned from my mistakes.. There is no such thing as a lost cause for as long as there's a will, there surely will be a way. I tried to be funny, tried to blend in wherever I go, always afraid to be left behind. But then after 19 years I have learnt this, set the bar high up and even if you fall, you'll fall somewhere near the bar.. never limit your capability because God's gift to us is limit-less. Set the bar where you know you can then you'll never ever improve. Wallow in self-pity and you'll just go to waste. Imagine if Thomas Edison stopped when he fail to create the light-bulb, we wont even have light!..

Sorry for bothering you guys with this extra-emo post but then where else can I put out my emotions if not to this desolate blog of mine (I'm single wud).....